Saturday, October 9, 2010

So nearly put in hospital two weeks ago... Not due to low BMI (haha as ifff), but rather the dangers associated with losing weight too quickly??

Lot of crap! I've lost weight faster than this I'm sure and I've not experienced any adverse effects. Sure if you're severely underweight I can see the risks, but certainly not at my weight!!

Apparently, doctors have a different BMI for those 'at risk' with eating disorders. I was always under the impression that 18.5 and below was underweight, but the doctors keep telling me a BMI of 20 and below is dangerous for those with or having had an eating disorder.

They think a good BMI for me would be 22...


ps. Alexa Chung is a god. I want all her clothes and especially her legs!

Sunday, July 11, 2010


Going to see a Psychiatrist for the first time this week, I'm nervous!

Has anyone been to see one before? What's involved? I'm worried that I'm not going to get anything out of the first session and not want to go back...

I'm not even sure what to say... I'm always only telling half of the story, no one ever gets to know the whole me. It's scary.

I want to change.

Thursday, June 24, 2010

I'm sick of people.

I'm sick of people letting me down. Forgetting about me. Because I'm one. And they're all two.

Fuck that.

Fuck it all. When I'm thin everything will be different.

Sunday, June 13, 2010


I love Cassie. She's one of my idols. I love what she looks like, how she dresses, how she talks... everything.

I miss Skins :(

I should be studying right now, but I've been so distracted these last few days - it sucks. All I want to do it write and dream and faff around doing nothing. Come on holidayssss.

Ate some sushi, brown rice but I still feel crappy.

Saturday, June 12, 2010

just because I'm losing doesn't mean Im lost

Woohoo! Down 2 pounds! Finally under the 20 BMI again... I don't ever want to go over.

All I see to do it study atm, driving me around the bend! I just want to ace my exams, get straight 100% and bring on the holidays.

Instead I keep re-watching all my lectures and trying to absorb information - when all I keep thinking about is calories and food and how much I should be eating and trying to fit in exercise. Any break I get I'm jumping on my mini-trampoine and I'm getting up early to run on the treadmill...

I MUST weigh under 130!!! I want to be back at 125 again!! (mostly 120 though...)

love <3